the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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