One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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