I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
operation have a gay friend backfired
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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