Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
