By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
