piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
