Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
