And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
