how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
