i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
