He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
