If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
