well you can't waste a boner
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have already put on my inside pants.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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