Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
