Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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