Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
