Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
