Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
