Screwed.edu
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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