I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
