Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
