I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
