Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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