This girl is more easily done than said...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
