i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
