I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
