she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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