the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
