M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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