My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize