I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
