you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
