Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
