talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize