dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
