Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
