He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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