I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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