Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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