...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
