dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
