That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
