i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
