Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
