i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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