I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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