Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
