I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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