yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Boobs speak an international language.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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