We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
