You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize