Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
