Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
