Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
