new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
