WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
