just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
