does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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