Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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