i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
