Small penises have feelings too.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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