i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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