You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
