Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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