Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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