i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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