i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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