please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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