it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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