u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
