i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
